What did we do to deserve this? Im pretty sure that all hope is lost yet again for this cycle. I woke up this morning and had some pretty bad cramping and the usual "feeling" along with the wonderful (this is kind of gross), but diarrhea. It happens every time, that's how I pretty much know that this cycle is over. Yet again. The Dr. office told me to monitor today and see if it gets worse and if so, they will cancel my blood test on Wednesday. Well, we might as well cancel the damn thing now.
Seriously...what did we do to deserve this?? We have done everything we are supposed to do. Are we being punished for something? I dont understand how you can want something so much and be so ready for it only for it to be shattered one month after another. Just to let you know, we are now going on 2 years the end of August. I mean really, when does it end? When do we get our outcome that we have been trying for, for so long? I DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!
Everything with this cycle had went so well. I had at least 4 mature follicles, I ovulated when I was supposed to, both IUI's were successful, and DH's count and motility were exceptional. I mean come on. What more do I have to do to get this to work???!!! That was our last cycle we could afford to do. At least until we get some of our bills paid down. I dont have the confidence that we can do this ourselves. That is really sad and pathetic.
I stayed home from work today. There wouldnt be any concentration on my part at all, Im sure. So I figured I would stay home and snuggle with my hubby and then of course, I have been bawling my eyes out pretty much the entire morning. I just dont understand. Why is this happening to us?!
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5 comments:
My heart is breaking for you... I have no words. We all know this despair to an extent, but it doesn't get any easier.
**BIG HUGS**
I'm so sorry! I think most of us can relate. We get SO excited and find hope just to be let down once more. ((hugs!))
I am so angry and sad right along with you, hun. You do NOT deserve this heartbreak yet again. I wish I could take it away for you, but all I can give are *hugs* and my prayers.
Hey Megs. Just stopping by for the first time, and I'm so sorry to see your bad news. I just found out through a lap surgery that I have endo too so I know all about the diarrhea that tells you af is on her way. Isn't that the worst?
Hi Megs - I just wanted to stop by and give you a little encouragement. I know that finding out a hopeful cycle failed is devastating, and good for you for staying at home today. I've asked the same question you are asking, "Why me, God? Why us when it seems so easy for everyone else?". Sometimes it's good to just be angry for a few days...I know it's hard, and it feels harder and harder not to get bitter.
Know that I'm praying for you, and I'm sorry about this month. Take care of yourself (eat as much chocolate as you want!) .
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