Stuck

Im stuck in a rut and I feel like I am drowning. It feels like I am suffocating. I dont know what to do to get out of it. It just kind of hit me like a huge truck. Im so angry today. I have no idea what my deal is. Which makes me even more frustrated. Today is just not a good day at all.

Im really glad that it's Friday because I think if I had to go through another day of work, I would rip out my hair. Okay, maybe it's my job. I find myself getting extremely frustrated at the smallest things and losing my patience very, very quickly with some of my coworkers. I feel like Im being super negative all the time, but I dont know what else to do to make it better. So again, Im stuck.

That's where my life is right now. Stuck in a constant state of anger and sadness. Anger over the fact that we are so much in debt with all of this that it really scares me. Anger because I dont understand why this is happening to us. Sadness because we may never be able to have the family we so desperately want.

I have found that I put on a wonderful act when it is needed. Throw on the smiles when everyone asks how things are going, but deep down inside is another story. There's a lot of pain. Pain that isnt going away.