As I have said before, I am a Social Worker, and I work with Homeless individuals and families to get housing so they can become more self-sufficient. If you remember, I have definitely talked about how challenging this job is almost on a daily basis for me. I have the pleasure of being the only caseworker in our agency (there are only 4 of us total right now) to go to one of our family shelters in the city (which really only holds 4 families total). Im sure this is going to make several people a little upset, so if you wish to read on, do, but dont say I didnt warn you. :)
A couple weeks ago, after only working with a family for about a week or so, they tell me that she is late. Late for what I ask (knowing full well the answer). Late for her period. Okay. I can handle this. How late are you? I ask. She says only a couple days and she has taken a test. She says that at first it was negative, but it changed to positive shortly after, so she isnt sure.
Okay... I just want you to know that this couple has 4, yes I repeat, 4 little girls already. Their ages you ask...7, 6, 2, and 7 months. My reaction to this newly highlighted information? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?! I wont tell you the response I got from him. Okay... so I run through the laundry list of questions. Were you not using condoms? He's allergic. There are other kinds that do not have latex, which another agency can help you get. What about BCP? My doctor doesnt believe in BC. Okay, you need another doctor then honey, because this is the 21st century and there are plenty of others who will prescribe it. I mean really...come on. What about P.lann.ed Pa.re.nth.ood? She tells me she has never heard of it. Now that, I find really hard to believe. So I tell them to go to the local health department to get another test done asap and then get back with me.
Two weeks pass and I saw them again on Monday. And guess what...she's pregnant, for sure. Well yippey fucking doo dah. What the H!!!! She at least got herself an appointment with a doctor. So...this is what pisses me off! These families who already can not provide for the ones they have, yet are bringing another baby into this hell they are in. This is the hard part of my job. Because I have to keep working with them, making sure everything they do is thinking about the future. I know Im being selfish when I say this, but damnit, when is it going to be my turn to have good news, knowing that I can actually provide for a baby when one comes into this world with hubby and I. I dont understand why I am being put through this, having to face such instances pretty much on a daily basis. It just plain sucks!
Oh yeah...the other thing. Why in the hell do I keep getting baby shit in the mail. Does this happen to anyone else?? Out of the blue, B.ab.y's R. U.s sends me this small catalog filled with coupons for up to like $30 off of things in their store. I mean really, give me a break. And today, I get something else about some Mother's Club thing. Hello, not me, no baby, no preggo. Let's just dig the wounds a little bit deeper shall we? They were even starting to heal a little bit from last cycle. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! That's all I have to say. I want to scream at the top of my lungs for all the frustration that I have over this.
I told Sister M today that I just want to know why He feels that putting me through all of this is a good thing. I really just dont understand at all. Her response, "I wish He would fill you in too".
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6 comments:
Oh man. I hear ya honey. I work in a pharmacy, and I deal a lot with woman(and men) who are on welfare. And have like 4-5 kids....and are pregnant AGAIN. I actually had one woman, who had a bunch of kids already complaining that Saga(state insurance) wouldnt pay for her clomid! I had to bite my lip to keep from flipping out. I think I may have drawn blood.
I have a similar story with a friend who adopted 4 girls (7,6,5,2) in foster care. The girls were abused, needed serious health care (dental, shots, etc). And right as the adoption was finalized, their mom was pregnant again. It was super sad - the mom was 24, had 4 kids. Her mother was 36, had 12 kids. Many of the 12 siblings were in foster care and the mom though it was "normal" to be pregnant at the same time as her mother. I've never felt that sterilization should be a requirement to get welfare than after I heard that story. Of course that will never happen, and is completely 'unacceptable' to say, but it was so sad. I think both moms have gone on to have more kids. The system just seemed to be repeating itself.
I'm so proud of you for working in such a difficult field. I don't even think I can imagine how hard it is... but I applaud you.
**BIG HUGS**
*hugs* It really isn't fair at all, is it?! As Nity said, I truly admire you for choosing this line of work. It can't be easy to see people make choices like this every day, but on the other hand, I'm sure it has very rewarding moments too.
P.S. I just got a catalog of maternity stuff in the mail, and don't even get me started on what it took to cancel my Fit Pregnancy membership after my MC. It was B-R-U-T-A-L! Hang in there hun. You're not alone.
Ek, I would not be able to do that job. Here is the info to stop all that baby mail stuff:
Mail Preference Service
Direct Marketing Association
P.O. Box 9008
Farmingdale, NY, 11735-9008
To remove from telephone list:
Phone Preference Service
Direct Marketing Association
P.O. Box 9014
Farmingdale, NY, 11735-9014
The phone numbers for both of these places is 212-768-7277. It can take 60-90 days for it to take effect.
Or you can just notify the companies too.
Yup. Some thing just don't make sense at all sometimes.
ICLW
I am a social worker also, but I work with welfare and food stamps clients. Most days it doesn't bother me, but I know I have those days where the client has six kids and is blaming me for not having food in the house. I feel your pain, I don't understand people at all either and have stopped trying.
ICLW.
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