I was bored last night so I decided to go to Barnes and Noble and see about finding me a good book to read. I found the book 'A Few Good Eggs'. Im sure others have heard of it. Im liking it so far. If anyone has any other suggestions for books make sure to throw them my way. I enjoy a really good book every now and then.
Crazy, splitting headache all day today. It really has not been good at all. When I was getting ready for work this morning, I started to see spots and had some blurred vision in my right eye. Yeah, sounds like I was starting to get a migraine. I havent had a migraine in several years. I think my last one was in 2003 or so. They were so bad I had to stay in bed the whole day with the covers over my head to block out any light. That was a really, really stressful summer for me too. We had moved mid-summer after we had been in my childhood house since I was born (I was 19 by then), due to certain circumstances. It was just not a good summer at all. So maybe this headache is telling me that I need to slow it down and relax or else. I dont know. I still have a slight headache, but one of my coworkers gave me a wonderful massage just a little bit ago and it seemed to help a little. I also went home for my lunch break and made hubby rub my head, feet, and back :).
The marching band that I have been helping with all summer has their first contest this Saturday. The girls are really nervous I think. Im really nervous too. I would love to keep our reputation of being one of the best guard in Southern Indiana in our class. Last year, I think there was only one contest where the girls did not get Best Guard. They were pretty devastated. So Im hoping we can pull it off this year with an undefeated streak. That would be awesome! Im struggling with a couple new girls in getting them to understand it all, but Im hoping by mid-season it will finally just click on like a light bulb. That usually is what happens with the freshmen. So Im pretty excited. It should be a good weekend.
I am midcycle right now. Not really sure what day I am on. I have no earthly idea if I ovulated or not. That's kind of sad. I just havent been paying attention at all. Honestly, Im past the point of caring for this month. Im just waiting for my appointment with my Dr. so that I can ask all my questions. Which by the way, still need to be written out so that I dont forget them. I go in on the 10th in the afternoon. Im really hoping that he has some kind of answers for me. Just give me something!! Im still dead set against going back on birth control if that is what he wants me to do until we go through with our 3rd IUI cycle. I just really feel that it defeats the entire purpose of everything! Any thoughts? If so, please let me know.
So I know that every RE is different in the methods they prefer, but sometimes when I read blogs about the same thing I am doing, I dont much see that others are doing anything similar. It makes me a little uneasy at times. I have a friend who basically laid down the law with her RE and told him exactly what she wanted and what she thought and now, that's pretty much what's happening. I know my RE knows what he is doing and I know that everyone is different when it comes to what works with their body/cycle, but it still makes me wonder if my RE is really taking the time to review all of my bloodwork, my ultrasounds, etc. Im gonna ask at this next appointment. He needs to review my bloodwork and ultrasounds with me. He also needs to talk about my pain in the ass cervix that we have had so many problems with. I need some answers before I go insane!! Ahhh!! Okay...Im better.
Oh...baby alert. My cousin who wasnt due for another 4 weeks...had her baby this past weekend. The big problem that I have with this...she isnt married and wants nothing to do with the father of the baby...because apparantly he's a little taken and by taken, I mean ring on the finger. Im sure Im going to get shit for this from my family members who are reading this, but I dont care. It really, really pisses me off. It could be jealousy, yes, but Im more pissed than anything. I mean, really, what is up with that?? How does this happen to those who arent even thinking about TTC, but those of us who are and are having problems...we are S.O.L. (shit out of luck for those of you who werent quite sure about that).
Okay...so maybe Im just a little angry about my situation. Hey, I think I have every right to be at this point. I have another cousin due in October who I never even know if she is with the father or not. It varies from week to week. They already have one together, but apparently havent figured out what causes it. Last I knew, they were no longer together again, but who knows today. Okay...I need to stop. Im sounding like a raging lunatic. It's just been building for so long, I needed to vent. Please dont judge. Im usually not like this at all. Im just really, really flipping frustrated.
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3 comments:
hey girl. just letting you know that i worry about your endo w/o bc pills... i can't even imagine how hard it must be to take those while you're trying so hard to do the opposite, but they play such an important role in keeping the endo away. (i know you know this) i wouldn't presume to tell you what to do, but this is one thing i have plenty of experience with. :) just think about it- and make a plan.
and ask your doc a bazillion questions. and don't leave until you get the answers you need. he works for you, after all.
No worries --- we're here/hear for your flip outs.
I totally suggest writing down all your questions for the doctor. I did that for this time and felt so good when I left the apt because I had no unknowns.
Flip away...that's why we're here! :) The good, the bad and the ugly...we love you through it all. *hugs*
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