Okay...I mean really. 63 days?? Who does that?? Who literally goes 63 days without having a period?!?! I know, I know, I'm preaching to the choir with some of you, so forgive me because this is just a little abnormal for me. I have been cramping off and on for the past week now, thinking that she is on her way, but nooooo. You know, as I mock her, she will probably be the biggest bitch in the world and show up at my doorstep hotter and heavier than she has ever been before. If this occurs, there WILL be a sick day involved. Sorry work, Aunt Flow decided to be the biggest bitch ever and not allow me to be able to walk today so I will be in my bed with some heavy duty painkillers and a heating pad over my aching uterus and it probably still won't do the trick. I might be in tomorrow, if you're lucky. Oh wait...she does have to get here first, right?
I'm thinking if she does not make an appearance tomorrow, Dr. B's office will be receiving a phone call. I mean, is there any other way we can force her to come for a visit? How often do we really want to see our mean old Aunty F anyway? I for one, would like to not see her for the next 9 months if it meant only one thing. And apparently you do not have to have a visit every month, but I like to keep her coming so I know what I have to work with in the end. I do not like surprises. Well, most of the time. Unless it comes in a little white stick with two little pink lines showing in the fun little window. You know, I would also take a nice + sign. Or heck, why don't you just go ahead and throw in the PREGNANT digital one. But damnit, those things are ex-pen-sive. So if you're paying, count me in ;). No? Well....damn you Aunty Flow.
Do you know who I picture when I think about Aunt Flow? The lady off of Steel Magnolias (great movie by the way). I do believe her name is Weezer? Please correct me if I am wrong. That is the face that always seems to show up when I think of Aunt Flow. Old and crotchity.
Okay, I'm done mocking her now. I seriously believe that she is going to come back and make my life a living hell. Only time will tell...
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2 comments:
Ugh, sorry AF hasn't shown up yet :(. I hope she shows up soon, and takes it easy on you!
:-) Regarding your orchid question. Yes, it is likely the blooms are just falling off, they only last 1-3 months.
Try this, I'm assuming this is the kind you have as it is the most commercially sold.
http://www.aos.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Culture_Sheets&CONTENTID=3705&TEMPLATE=/CM/ContentDisplay.cfm
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