Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What Happens Next??

Hubby had his SA on Monday. We went back to the doctor today to review the results and talk a little more about what happens next. Hubby's results came back pretty much the same as they were for the last IUI cycle we did. Nothing has changed. DH spent 90 days alcohol free and nothing to really show for it. I guess at least we know that hasn't had any effect on him. Dr. B said it wouldnt be necessary for him to do another 90 days before our next cycle (whenever that may be) since there was not a change. The count is around 9 million I believe.

Lets answer the question of what happens next...Well, that's a good question because, you see, right now we are at a stand still. I am at the end of my cycle waiting for AF to come, but praying that she wont show her ugly face. There hasn't been any sign of her to this point. I usually have spotting a few days before she comes and I've had nothing. I guess we will see.

So back to the question...we wait for one. After we have waited and if AF does show up, which honestly Im not expecting anything different, then we will start saving our pennies. Yes, that's right, all of them. Now, the big question is do we do another IUI cycle and throw $3000 down the drain if it doesnt work or do we wait and keep saving up for a (at least) $13,000 IVF cycle? Hmmm.....pondering. Hubby doesnt think we should do another IUI. He is now being the pessimistic one (which doesnt help because that's my job!).

If this is another busted cycle, Im back on BCP's until we decide where we will go from here. I know how the IUI's work, so I got the information on IVF. I dont want to have to go there. Not only does our insurance not pay for any of it, we will also have to travel 3 hours away for the actual procedures (Indianapolis).

Today was the first time that I have apologized to my DH. I apologized for being broken. For not being able to give him what we want. He didnt say anything. Today was the first day in a couple months that I have cried over my IF. We might get through this...only time will tell.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ugg...I'm sorry :(

Go listen to this song:
http://yayastuff.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-just-wanna-be-ok.html

I totally understand the 'broken' feeling.

(((Hugs)))

Melissa Griffin said...

I am so sorry to hear that happened to you today. What does the doctor recommend? Does he think you should go for another IUI and how many would that make? I hear you about it all - our IUI's were not covered and IVF would not be for us either. I am not sure about where you live but there are places here that specialize in IVF and they have all sorts of payment plans - that work if it doesnt work out etc...you should ask about that so you know up front.

Mrs Woggie said...

Oh hun. I know it's useless to say anything because I know that empty, impossible feeling of hopelessness and of being broken. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope your AF doesn't come and so don't have to worry abt any of this. I totally understand the 'broken' feeling. That is exactly how I feel right now too. Don't worry, we will get through this!

I Believe in Miracles said...

I'm so sorry sweetie. Ugh. I was so hopeful about this. I have said the broken thing to my husband too. It's tough. You've got realize your hubby loves you a whole lot and really wants this goal too - to have gone 90 days. That's really good. Morn, rest, rejuvenate, and then look into plan B.
~~HUGS~~

~ Katie ~ said...

I'm so sorry that everything didn't turn out as hoped for. Have you tried Fertility Life lines? Before we decided not to do IVF, I was in touch with them, and they have a few programs that help with the medication part. I have everything crossed that you won't be having to make any decision, except what to paint the nursery. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts headed your way.

Mel said...

Ugh. I'm so sorry, Meg. We were all so excited and proud of the effort DH was putting forth...his work/will power is still VERY commendable. I'm so sad that you're having to continue to search for answers.

I wish I had more wisdom to share on the IUI and IVF questions you posed, but I'm sure there are LOTS of ladies that will offer fantastic advice.

We're here for you, hun...totally cheering you on...broken or not. *hugs*

Faith said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry you're having this kind of a day. Hang in there.

Zoe said...

Sending you lots and lots of hugs.
It's just so unfair that you have to go through this.

Anonymous said...

i found your blog on iclw, endometriosis is a cold hearted bitch, isn't she? i have stage III.