I took myself off BCP's. I was having issues with them anyways. I don't think my cycle was ever where it should have been even when I was on them. That's definitely not a good thing I don't think. I informed my Dr. of this back in August, but he didn't seem to be too concerned about it. We switched my pill at that point since I was pretty much done breastfeeding (yes, my cycle started way before I stopped bf'ing). I was still having issues. Lots of spotting throughout my cycle and then when it came time for AF to show, it lasted only about a day.
At this point, I haven't had AF since December. And of course, pregnancy tests show BFN. Hubby is pretty much convinced I am pregnant, even though I keep telling him that I am not. But there is always that little bit of, 'but what if I am' looming in the back of my head. It makes me a little nervous because A just turned a year old a month ago, but I know that we need to be thinking about number two now. Heck, my Dr. wanted me to start trying again back in August! (that thought just scared me a little too much..lol)
I keep thinking, what if we have to go through all of the pain yet again. What if I have to go through another surgery (it's quite possible)? I'm not sure if I am up for all of it again. I have someone else to think about now other than myself and hubby. And he is my everything. Definitely the light of my life. He makes me smile even when he decides his new wake up time is 5:50am (all weekend...).
It's nervewracking. Hubby is ready. I'm still undecided because all of the pain and struggle is still fresh in my mind. But we aren't preventing it. If it happens, it happens and I will be ecstatic. Lord only knows what the future will hold...
Monday, February 7, 2011
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