That's what I feel like sometimes. Im not really sure where I belong. Especially right now, with all of this craziness in my life. Which way is up and which way is down? It seems like every time I turn around someone is pregnant or there is the cutest little baby being shoved in my face. Maybe the answer is Im being selfish, but somehow I dont think thats it. Is it so wrong for us to want something so bad? I dont think so. I know my husband wants it just as bad as I do. He is trying to keep me thinking positive. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesnt. I have improved though. Now, when I hear that someone is pregnant I dont shut down. At one point for a while, every time I heard that, I would totally shut myself off from everyone. I would go right to depressed mode. It was like a switch would just turn off or on, whichever way you want to look at it.
So, Ive never really went into what I do for a living. Im a Social Worker and deal with the homeless on a daily basis. Im on what is called a Homeless Outreach Team. Dont get me wrong, I really enjoy my job and working with the individuals and families. However, it gets really really hard when I work with a mom who is pregnant and does everything under the sun she isnt supposed to do while pregnant. That's whats hard. It breaks my heart. Those are the ones that I really do not want to work with, but still have to. It hurts...
So I have found a new favorite song. It is called "Lost" by Anouk. It's wonderful and I think Ive listened to it like 20 times today. Everyone should check it out. It's really good. The title to my post is part of the song and I really feel like it fits in a way. Like I said, it's now my favorite.
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4 comments:
OMG totally. I feel the same way. My friend the other weekend told me she was going to start TTC and it made me so sad. I told her that it would only take her 2 mos. because EVERYONE around me only takes 2 mos before they are preg. It makes me sad because I now look forward to another announcement. People tend to keep info from me to keep it from hurting me like this. I think that makes me feel terrible, that people are so joyous about being pregnant and have to keep it a secret from me because of how I will react....
Welcome to the blogger world! I found you through L&F. Courtney (http://prayingforalittleone.blogspot.com/2008/06/oh-2ww.html) has a great list of ideas on what to do during the 2ww. Hope it helps.
http://prayingforalittleone.blogspot.com/
2008/06/oh-2ww.html
that link didn't work. see above and paste. :o)
Hi, found you on Mel's Lost and Found. I have endo as well and had it removed recently. Apart from my endo, I had my cysts, fibroids, and polyps removed. I couldn't believe it and my whole world shattered. It was the saddest day of my life.
I'll be coming back to check on you.
Hugs.
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