Thursday, December 18, 2008

At the End of My Rope

CD35....still nothing. POAS yet again this morning and still a Big Fucking Negative. My body is playing tricks on me again. As I said before, I havent had this problem since before I had my surgery. So, yes, Im scared that my endo is definitely coming back. And yes, it obviously messes with my cycle since I had been regular since my surgery. I have had a little spotting today, so I know that it's coming, it's just a matter of when.

I dont know if I can keep doing this. It just feels like we arent ever going to get there. Emotionally, Im not sure if I can handle it anymore.

4 comments:

I Believe in Miracles said...

Don't give up hope! I'm sorry about AF. That's strangely annoying.
~~HUGS~~

Melissa Griffin said...

Meg - I hate to say I dont blame you for feeling this way..sometimes it seems as if when is enough enough? Emotionally this has to be the worst thing to go through! I know that over the summer I got to the point your at and I just said thats it - I need a break...and Ive been "breaking" ever since...ahahah I went and did acupuncture and then I just could not bring myself to go back to the doc for drugs & another IUI. I hated the way everything made me feel..But unfortunately I have to go back BUT maybe you just need a little break...to start feeling like yourself again and then go abck after that.
Whatever you do we will all be routing for you!!

Katie said...

Try to stay strong Meg. Easier said than done I know, but try not to lose hope.

Just Me. said...

I'm so sorry. Endo's the biggest motherf*kin' bitch. I hate both her and AF.

Just as the rest has said, don't give up hope. I know it's sooo hard to feel hopeful cuz god knows, how many times i've burst into tears and threw away those damned pee sticks from the toilet to across the room, barely missing my fur baby.

((((((hugs)))))