Im a Busy Slacker :)

Alright, alright....Im soooo slacking again for ICLW. It's pathetic really. I WILL get caught up though. So be expecting some crazy commenting from over here in Southern Indiana :)

Obviously, my life has been crazy. I have been getting really, really stressed with guard lately for the simple fact that for the past couple of practices, I have not had 100% attendance. In fact, it hasnt happened since last Monday...and that really scares me! We have another contest this Saturday and have spent time changing a lot of things...even without some at practice, which really makes me worried. However, it will all work out. We still have two, 3 hour practices before we perform. We should be alright.

Im getting incredibly lazy at my job. That's not a good thing. Im to the point that I hate going to work almost every day. As I said a couple posts ago, I enjoy my actual job, but not my place of employment. I applied for another job this past weekend. Something that is totally different from what I am doing now. Im keeping my fingers crossed. And it would have some AWESOME benefits! I guess we will just have to see.

The other day I went to take some pictures of my hubby's truck. Man oh man....

So as you can see...some pretty extensive damage to the front end. We are still trying to work out what we can afford for him at this point. But right now, we wont have a truck payment until we make a decision on what we are going to do. Yay! Saving some money :) Until next time!!

Finally some good news!!!

So I finally heard back from our Insurance today. Hubby's truck is a total loss. We kind of figured it would be. Hubby also blue booked his truck the other night just to see what it should go for and it came out to about the same as what we still owed on the truck. So, I was expecting to come out even in this deal and have to start from scratch without anything to put toward another vehicle. Well, good news!! (for a change!) We will be coming out ahead :) whoo hoo!! Which means that we will have a little money to be able to put down toward another truck. Yay!! This is the first good news I have heard in a long time at this point!

So...we have been trying to price trucks and of course, hubby has his sights set on a particular one. Im really just not sure whether we will actually be able to afford it or not. We will just have to see.

I still need a change on the employment front. Now is just not the greatest time to be looking for another job. I just might have to stick it out for a while.

Welcome ICLW'ers!!!

I know, I'm a little late, but hey at least I'm here!! Right?? Right. I vow to fulfill my duties this week and make sure to get all of my comments done! So...on with it now :)

A little background...You will see some of it on my sidebar, but here is a rundown...

I married my best friend July 2006. We started TTC a couple months later, September to be exact! We, of course, have been TTC ever since. It's been 2 1/2 years now and we are down to the option of IVF. We have been through two cycles of IUI with injectables, both BFN's. I have had a laparoscopy/hysteroscopy to remove the wonderful endometriosis that was found on and behind my uterus. Not really sure when the IVF will be taking place as we have had a serious of extremely unfortunate events happen within the past month. We will now be spending the money that would have went toward IVF on a new truck for my hubby. If you go back a couple of posts, you will be able to read about our lovely events.

I am a Social Worker. I work on a Homeless Outreach Team and help individuals and families get back on their feet in whatever way that I can. Yes, this means I get to deal with some pretty irresponsible mothers at times and it is really beginning to get hard. I love my job, but not my place of employment, if that makes any sense. Im currently searching for other avenues.

I have a Great Dane. He is my baby! He is 3 years old and weighs 140 lbs. I promise you I will never have another breed again!! By the way...this is my spoiled baby :) Laying on the couch with his favorite toy.

I look forward to getting to know more bloggers!! Thanks for stopping by!!

How long before 2010???

We have yet to find anything out, but I'm pretty sure the drunk who hit my hubby Monday night does not have any insurance. Which I'm gonna say is going to suck really bad for him later, once he gets out of jail that is. Especially since he will have to pay for hubby's truck and a house. Ouch! We also still dont know if hubby's truck is totaled or if someone will be able to fix it. Hopefully we will be finding out soon enough that way we can either get another vehicle or get the dang thing fixed. However, I'm pretty sure it is beyond repair.

I keep thinking "What if it would have been worse?" I cant get it out of my head. I am sooo glad that it wasn't and I know that my hubby is really, really lucky. I just can't shake it. I also keep thinking that there has to be a reason that we are being put through all of this at one time, but I have absolutely no idea what that reason could be.

I'm tired. I'm pretty sure we can't handle another event like this in our life. I wish He would give us a break. We would have had hubby's truck paid off this year and the extra money would have been put into a savings for IVF. We can probably kiss that goodbye now.

Well, 2009 has been a bitch so far and we aren't even two months into it. I really hope that this isnt a look into the rest of the year. If so, count me out.

When It Rains...Damnit, it pours!!!!!

Im seriously about to my end. I think I am going to crack. Im not really sure what more I can be put through at this point before I literally go over the freaking edge!! So, everyone remembers that I had a wreck last month correct? Well, I finally got my car back on friday night (yay). However, on Thursday, my Blazer was in a lot of pain when he went to the bathroom. So, we got to throw down a nice little chunk of money to a vet that we have never seen before (our normal vet is on vacay) who talked to me like I was an idiot and made me feel guilty for not wanting to spend over $400 on my dog at one time. Blaze has a urinary infection and crystals in his urine. The vet's suggestion?? Fork out over $500 over the next 4 weeks for a special canned food and then switch his diet to S.cien.ce D.iet for the rest of his life (a prescription food, that you can only get from your vet mind you). Well, Im sorry, but there has to be another option!!

So, last night I receive a phone call around 11:15 from my hubby. He was hit by a drunk driver and more than likely his truck is totaled. He was on his way home from work and the guy flew right through the stop sign (going at least 70) on a little side street. The guy smacked into G, which made him spin all the way around, and the guy went sailing right into the living room of a house. The idiot climbed out his back window (of his truck) and tried to run away. He didnt get very far because by that time all the neighbors had emerged and made sure the cops were called.

Hubby is alright thankfully. We took a trip to the emergency room just to get him checked out. Im pretty sure his truck is beyond repair. We will find out soon enough.

Can I just say....I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more!!!! I cant take anything else right now!!!!! Just give me a break for a while!

Just Once

Can someone please explain to me why I was given the opportunity to do the work that I am doing right now? It's not that I am ungrateful for this job, it's that I'm not really sure how much more I can handle. It seems like every time I get to a better place with myself, something else happens in my job that makes me extremely angry/jealous/upset. Yes, I said jealous.

I'm jealous of the fact that my clients do nothing and they get to have the pleasure of bringing into this world a new life. No matter how much they do not do for the other children that they have. It makes me angry when I have a family who (normally a single mother with multiple children) obviously does not understand how babies are made.

How can I go on doing what I am doing and deal with my IF when every time I turn around another client who really does not need to be is boasting about being pregnant. I have to turn my back and hold back the tears that start to well up in my eyes.

Just once I want to know what it feels like to see those two little lines or PREGNANT on the pee stick. Just once I want to know what it feels like to even be pregnant. Why can't I have that? Why does it seem like everyone else in the world gets to have that overwhelming joy and I'm stuck wondering how much I'm going to suffer when I get my next period. Which in turn leaves me wondering if I will EVER get to experience the one thing that I want so bad in life...to have a family.


**We had a client (not mine) today that was taken to the hospital because someone called and said they found her in an abandoned house. She is 7 months pregnant and was bleeding heavily. Her caseworker is pretty sure that she has been using for the past couple of days. Her drug of choice...crack. She was also diagnosed with a prolapsed uterus a couple weeks ago. She lost the baby.

Looking Back

Since I post pictures of my guard kids...I figure I probably should post a few pictures of myself from back in the day. These pictures are from my first year in the independent winterguard. I was a Sophomore in college at the time...

Yay for old pictures :) haha!! And one last one...I couldnt grab any action shots from 2005 (my 2nd year in independent guard), so this is one of the few that I have!

Im sure you can probably pick me out of this one :) Dont ask what we were doing though...because Lord only knows!!

I probably should have saved these for Show and Tell...but I wont be home on Saturday, so can I participate tonight???? :) hehe

Parents these days

I was pretty fortunate growing up that my parents were pretty involved in everything that I did. I was involved in 4-H from 3rd grade through the summer after my freshman year of college (which is the total amount of time you can be in), I was a cheerleader 5th, 6th, 9th, 10th, and 11th, and was in the marching band all four years of high school, which of course, is where I started colorguard. I also was in the winterguard for my junior and senior years of high school (they were the first two years our school had the program). And I also continued on into college with an independent winterguard.

My parents were with me every step of the way through all of this. They attended, assisted, cheered, praised, hugged, laughed, and cried. They both had full-time jobs and still made the time to put in extra time to help out with whatever they could in the activites that I was in. Im not going to lie, I was a busy child and if it was offered, I tried it at least once. All except for brownies/girl scouts :)

Like I said, maybe I was just extremely fortunate that my parents made it a point to be involved. I almost feel sorry for my guard kids. Maybe this generation of parents was not brought up the same way as mine were?? I dont really know. I honestly have one set of parents, plus a mom out of my 9 kids who have made any attempt whatsoever to help us with this season. It's actually pretty sad that we have so little parent participation. I understand that times are hard, but all I am asking is that you just be there for your kids!! I mean is that really so much to ask?

The really sad part....my parents have devoted more time to this season than the other parents. And Im the director!! I mean really...if you dont have the money to drive to contests, carpool!! These kids need the support to get them ready to perform!

Now...the kids didnt do horribly this weekend. Our score went up, we moved up a couple spots in placing. We were 11th out of 20 this weekend. It was definitely not our greatest show. Everything we had spent the last week cleaning, pretty much looked like we hadnt touched it. But...we upped our score.

We go out again this weekend and there are only 16 in our class, so I am hoping top 8 :) That would be awesome!! That would help us to be on our way to getting into that top 20 at State Prelims and move us on to State Finals :) Well...without further ado....these are my kids!

All natural?? Or stimulated??

That is the question that I have been posing to myself here lately. In regards to IVF by the way. I have been doing some reading on Natural IVF with just an HCG trigger to ovulate or going the normal/extremely expensive/no insurance coverage so I am giving both my arms and both my legs for payment route. I am of course still doing my research. I have actually found a Dr. who blogs who totally believes in Natural IVF and has had lots of success. My doctor however, does not do Natural IVF that I know of. Well, he doesnt advertise it anyway, so that pretty much leads me to believe that it's his way or you're screwed :)

So my next step is to email them and see what kind of response I get back regarding Natural IVF. I really think it could work just as well. Then you wouldn't have the risk of overstimulation and have all the embryos left over that you have to make a decision to get rid of or do whatever with. I dont know. I guess I'm just going to have to keep doing my research!

Im feeling pretty good after my wreck. I thought that I would be pretty sore yesterday, but I wasnt. The only thing that was even remotely sore was my neck. My legs and bum were sore, but that was from guard stuff on Saturday. Yeah, I actually had to teach something (dance stuff) at practice...lol. Other than that, I have felt pretty good.

So, the rental that I am driving is interesting. It's a Kia Rondo and if you dont know what that looks like click here. I dont really like the car, but it's a way to get around :) I hopefully will only have it for a week and then will have my SUV back. This car kind of reminds me of a station wagon, but a little shorter...lol.

So if anyone has any suggestions on the Natural vs. Stimulated IVF or a personal experience please send your info my way :) I am open to all opinions!! Thanks!!

So what did you do this weekend?? Well...

This weekend was supposed to be a nice non-stressful weekend. But do they ever turn out that way when you would really like for them to? Of course not. Well, things were well until last night...

Friday night I didnt do too much, just mainly stayed in and tried to make a schedule for our guard practice Saturday. No big deal, nothing to stress over at all. I was just kind of glad that we did not have a contest because we hadnt been able to practice all week! (Damn ice!)

Saturday practice went well. We got a lot accomplished in our 7 hours! Lots of cleaning and fixing things. After practice, I was to meet my family at a really awesome restaurant that has the best fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn (one of those old country restaurants), for my dad's birthday which is on Tuesday. Meal went well, we visited, and we were off again to our seperate locations.

The restaurant is on a country road that of course, had not been totally cleared. I went around a corner not even 30 yards from the restaurant and slid. I couldnt have been going faster than about 25 at that moment, but I guess I hit the ice just right and couldnt get my control back. I slid sideways into the other lane right into a telephone pole. Luckily I hit right in front of my passenger side door.

Im alright. My neck hurts a little bit. I slammed into my console in between my seats and bent it a little bit, but other than that, Im fine. My SUV on the other hand, I think might have more damage than we thought last night. Of course, we could tell that my passenger side was pretty messed up (my door wont open all the way, and it doesnt close all the way either), but I noticed while driving it home (yeah, I drove it home) that there was a lot of air coming in on my driver's side. When I got home, I shut the door hard enough to make sure it was closed, and it isnt closing all the way. That could be really bad...Im a little worried.

The important thing is Im alright. The car can be fixed (hopefully). We will have to make a trip to the insurance agent tomorrow morning and take the car in to the shop :( Have to get a rental asap too.